It was a dreary February morning, and I was interacting with Hank’s penis when the phone rang. It was Sue, the Northwest regional sales manager, calling in with the monthly sales figures. I made a mental note to quietly phase out these tedious calls, then asked Sue’s permission to put her on speaker phone. I […]

Today’s Words:
manipulate
feeble
ahead
oatmeal
involve
incidental
grace
Grace is this fundamental concept that was missing from my consciousness as a child. I’ve had to learn it, slowly, haltingly, with great effort. What is grace? It is that which is the nature of the Cosmos and life itself: a gift. Something freely given, but which you cannot contrive to receive. More abundant that you […]

Today’s Words:
draconian
slither
pillage
yet
fraught
accolades
coalesce
Ah, fraught. My favorite word.
Giving accolades is fraught. How to celebrate without elevating, how to honor without those betters and worses slithering in? In NVC you bring it all back to the specific, to the here and now I feel happy and gratitude. Not “you are so great”, not generalizing into an abstraction […]

Today’s Words:
laconic
paper
amorous
lacking
ineffective
get on with
bone
Get on with it! You’ve been lurking in the amorous section of the paper for weeks, cutting out ads, piecing together phrases. If you’re worried about an ineffective presentation you might as well experiment, you’re not lacking in imagination. For fucks sake, Mom!
Young man, go toss out the trash, the ham bone […]

Today’s Words:
mullet
debutante
apply
ruddy
guest
bargain
muck
My dad’s response to advertising was “I’ll sell you some cowpies at a bargain price.” I guess he was saying that just because it’s on sale doesn’t mean it’s not shit.
I’m sure there are some life lessons to be drawn from this but just now I’m pulling a blank. People buy manure you know. […]

“This blatant effrontery will not stand!”
Margo rolled her eyes and stormed out of the room. Whatever, Mom. As if I need your permission to fly. The very ability made her free in a way her mom could not comprehend. When her nubby winglets had finally unfurled, after weeks of agonizing yearning, her parents had been duly […]

Today’s Words:
probation officer
plump oneself
dim
domicile
opiate
Post-purchase rationalization
groom
Jim hated being a probation officer. If he had ever imagined a career for himself as a child, he was sure it wasn’t this. Perhaps he had wanted to be a travelling carnival hand, or a backup musician for Sting. Perhaps he had wanted to go to the moon. He couldn’t […]