i hate calling in sick, because i have to sound sick over the phone, so i test out my voice to make sure it sounds appropriately sick and then i call. it’s dumb. because you and i both know that i am truly sick. yet why must i feel that i am playing a charade. anyway, i called in sick and now i’m sitting here with my coffee like i would do any other day when i was not sick.

i took some nyquil last night. it’s a syrupy dark blue-green medicine that you drink from a tiny plastic cup. it’s the only cold medicine i would ever take, because it makes me sleep. most people hate it. i don’t. i like the way it tastes. but i was always strange that way, as a child i loved to take my medicine. even when it tasted gross. i never put up a fight or a whiney fit. hey, give me a giant gold star, just go ahead and plaster it right to my fevered brow.

it becomes more and more apparent that i have got to get away from here. alas, i will not leave until i have a suitable plan of action in place. without a plan of action, i will become a free floating depressed ion tossed upon the atmosphere. i would much rather be a toad. i do love toads. damn, i can’t wait for this winter to be over. even new jersey will look pretty then. so many trees…

so you see, i am cracking up. it would be good for me right now to be back at work where i am completely occupied. it’s not nice to leave my mind wandering. ‘ tis a danger.

maybe i’ll do some laundry. nah, too many steps up and down. (washer and dryer in basement). hope i have enough clothing to wear to work for four days. guess i could open the closet door and check. maybe later. right now i have half a cup of coffee left. i don’t like to leave my desk until the coffee is all gone.

i will continue using escape fantasies to pass the time. i wander the internet, looking at houses to buy, airstreams to roam in, different jobs, new businesses to try, but i settle on nothing. now’s not the time to ramble on.