I wrote up a big post today on cheekyboots calculating my personality pattern to 12 decimal places. It’s brilliant.

It’s ironic too. My core life script is:

“I am unacceptable, but if I work hard/try hard, I could maybe become acceptable”.

So the pressure of working hard, internally, being hyper driven to fix myself, conversely, made me have a really low tolerance for outside pressure to work (from school, jobs). Which has fueled my pursuit of passive income, self-employment, etc.

It seems that, even though it is good and freeing to heal our wounds, once healed they still have shaped us in the ways that make us most unique and interesting.

Another way to think of core wounds is like this: a wound, or pain, is simply the experience of being separate from Source/God/Self. The core wound that we all carry is some variation of the thought/belief “I am separate from God”. Or at least “some part of me is separate from God” (the part I have disowned, the shadow, the abandoned Self, etc).

So the healing of the wound is really a journey back to Source – it’s a travelling through time and space and situations and energy patterns. It’s a process of parts settling back into the places they always belonged, having been ripped out by the energy of violence, of disconnect.

And yet, like metal that has been strengthened in the fire, the evidence of stress remains. You do not go entirely back into the pre-divided state.

Or do you, eventually? I’m not sure.

In books like “The Destiny of Souls”, they talk about this long journey each soul takes of learning and growing over all these lifetimes.

But what’s the point of that? That supposed some kind of end to the Universe – a linear path.

I suppose not though. I mean, what if all the spirituality metaphors are also describing the same thing as the Big Bang. I mean, really, mystics are talking about the same Universe as physicists. So if the Big Bang also included soul energy being splayed across the Universe, pooling around certain areas that became populated planets – and the souls age as the Universe ages – until, what? Until the Universe dies. And then maybe there is a whole ecosystem beyond our Universe, and some other Universe creature comes and feeds on our remains.

That would make the entire Existence one gynormous fractal. And while our Universe is huge, vast, immensely unknowably large – it’s just a spec in an even more vast, immense, unknowably large MetaVerse. Which, in turn…and on and on. Because that is how fractals work.

Yeah, baby.

Or something. I have a haircut at 10 am tomorrow. What was I thinking? I need to go to sleep!