Today’s Words:
homophile
Patsy Cline
insectivorous
pug
spiteful
nick
sprinkle

i found this chinese fortune that i got several months ago. it says this week you will receive support from surprising sources.

it was a week of unusually long talks with clients.  the talks were long becuase it wasn’t the same old talk.  one client told me she always wished she could be a lesbian, but found that she needed to have the dick attached to something warm and nice; dildos just don’t work for her.  another client told me he worries a bit about offending others. he’s thick-skinned, and used to think others must be similar thick-skinned. he loves to be teased, and he thinks insulting people is a way of showing, look, i love you, i know you can take this. teasing you and making fun of you is my way of letting you know that i know you know it’s not at all serious.

so then i wonder, at the end of a call, what to bill the client.  today, i billed one client 45 minutes for our hour-long call. the line item onthe invoice includes the fact that 15 minutes was spent talking about happiness, causes thereof.

in other news, my amazing therapist said something so basic i’d forgotten it. you can move things not by taking on new responsibilities, or making agreements with other people. instead, make agreements with yourself.  i was watching too many movies, because i didn’t want to go through some stuff i need to go through.  so i have an agreement. no more than N movies per week. i’m a little embarrassed to name N in public. :-)  another agreement with myself was to stay off the internet. if i don’t need to be on the internet, i ain’t on it. that goes for the computer, too.  no more random clicking while hours pass.

this is definitely turning into a journal entry, with little chance that dolly parton may nudge her way in.  but, hey, since she did come up, and i did see a snippet of something insane on tv (at the gym the other day, at the gym!), here it is.  they had this game show only, instead of regular folks as contestants, they had celebrity look-alikes.  dolly parton and howard stern were among the lookalikes. these folks were scarily similar to their impersonnees, and you could also tell they had worked hard on the mannerisms, etc  which is too bad as it might have had a shred of authenticity if they were trying to answer inane questions while being themselves, rather than trying to answer inane questions while being someone else.  anyhow, i felt sad when they pitted elvis presley’s lookalike with marilyn monroe’s.  two dead, sad legendary characters in a wierd and chronologically inaccurate face-off, lord was willin’.

i’m writing the sort of stuff i skim over when i come across it in other people’s blogs. so, feel free to skim, dear one.  there’s nothing here for you but the news that i’m alive and — well — coming into something.  something that feels much better than what i was in before.  and a lot of tears, and some disappointment.  counterbalanced with the sureness i feel about spring coming again this year.  i’m pretty sure that, just like last year, we won’t get skipped over.

 the trick this year will be to stop and smell the spring, rather than comment upon it when it’s gone, and july is kicking my ass.  yup.  that’s the trick of my lifetime.  to live, while i can. 

 my artist’s way pals met last night, here at my house. we spent the first half hour at the mansion across the street, watching the eclipse.  if you didn’t catch it, you can simulate it by drawing the moon, then drawing a brownish-orange circle, same size as the moon, moving over the moon from left to right … voila. 

last night’s get-together was a potluck — sans planning.  we tought it would be fun to let everyone just bring what ever they wanted.  as a result, i made vegetarian enchiladas; and 5 peopled showed up with hummus.  i’m not really even a fan of hummus.  when they left, i announced that everywoman should take what she brought with her, i wanted no humii left behind.

the end