It was a dreary February morning, and I was interacting with Hank’s penis when the phone rang. It was Sue, the Northwest regional sales manager, calling in with the monthly sales figures. I made a mental note to quietly phase out these tedious calls, then asked Sue’s permission to put her on speaker phone. I […]

Today’s Words:
laconic
paper
amorous
lacking
ineffective
get on with
bone
Get on with it! You’ve been lurking in the amorous section of the paper for weeks, cutting out ads, piecing together phrases. If you’re worried about an ineffective presentation you might as well experiment, you’re not lacking in imagination. For fucks sake, Mom!
Young man, go toss out the trash, the ham bone […]

“This blatant effrontery will not stand!”
Margo rolled her eyes and stormed out of the room. Whatever, Mom. As if I need your permission to fly. The very ability made her free in a way her mom could not comprehend. When her nubby winglets had finally unfurled, after weeks of agonizing yearning, her parents had been duly […]

It was getting to be the time of year that the gnats came out in clouds and drove everyone inside. Where the gnats came from was a mystery, but since most things on this planet were a mystery, nobody much cared about this one. Except Marla. She wanted to know. She was tired of playing […]

Today’s Words 
varnish
slip
grandmother
pleather
supreme
inquietude
splash
The varnish on my heart isn’t so easy to remove. I’ve scrubbed, but it’s insistent. I sometimes think I’ll end up in a monastery, joking with the monks and planting beets. Spending my mornings in the garden, and my afternoons scrubbing, scrubbing, scrubbing at my heart, gently working my way through the coatings of […]

Today’s Words:
boiled egg
unripe
sated
tush
T-square
dope
decisive 
Angie was so anal she used a T-square to fry an egg. Got to get the angles right she said. Only way to do it.
Boiled eggs she wouldn’t attempt. Too many variables she said. Higher longterm success rate if you stick to known equations.
She chose slightly unripe fruits and vegetables because they produced more precise […]

Today’s Words:
pugnacious
anthem
lullaby
oral cancer
olfactory
impetuous
spunky 
The anthem of Spunkytown was about cookies. Cookies, of course, were the national mascot, but Spunkytown, being eager to the point of pugnaciousness in their patriotism, had taken it one step further.
The anthem went thusly:
Cookies our our shepherds.
They still our hearts and fill our lonely bellies.
They restore our souls and lead us to righteousness.
Though […]

Words from Emily:
coerce
storied
rampart
desire
prisoner
clouds
moonlit
creepy
I feel a bit creepy, sitting here in the early morning night (12:52 am to be precise) in Emily’s apartment. She doth sleep, or attempt to sleep, and I doth write, or attempt to write.
Ramparts, coercion, prisoners - sounds like a fantasy novel in the making. So let’s go.
One day, a young girl […]

Words from Emily:
glassblower
verdigris
Vermeer
janitor
sedate
charcuterie
folly
forepaw
detox
Detox was going well, all things considered. Considerin’ one of those things was a run-in with a janitor on PCP which resulted in a nail run straight through her right eye. She felt like the deer meat her pa used to pound on for days, trying to get it tender enough to chew. […]

Word Furrows from Emily
baneful
intangible
impaction
dental practitioner
denude
implore
doss down
duck down
It was a baneful existence. She meant that quite literally, as she described the role of shabwajer to the new cadet.
Shabwajers were there to denude the King, if the King ever became, shall we say, unsuitable to the practice of ruling. If she, as the Head Shabwajer, were to […]