Hey, I’m back. Yup, it’s going to become a habit. Pretty soon you’ll never know I left. Today my thoughts are circling around this question: do I want to help people because it is fun and I enjoy it? Or because I grew up believing that if I made myself helpful people would keep me [...]

Writing matters. I think. I mean, I want to take on faith that it does, and just start doing it again. I have gotten out of the habit of writing. I used to just go along and a great idea would come to me and I would get all excited and out it would come. [...]

I had a rockin’ meeting tonight with my Hakomi group. Much unfolded. I’m going through this period of uncertainty. The confidence that I normally draw on readily is just missing. I look around the world and it suddenly seems much larger than before. I had a plan, I was ready for a world the size [...]

Sometimes I get a glimpse of the future. Not a lot, but occasionally I’ll get a flash of knowing that turns out to happen. Sometimes I try to see into the future and this internal force prevents it. Like a voice that say, “No. You’re not supposed to know that yet.” When I was younger [...]

This is what I want: a summer all to myself, where I can make things and chat with people online and never have to go anywhere. It’s lovely. It’s perfect. I want to run as far as the eye can see in a perfect meadow. I want to live at the edge of a lake [...]

Today was a Wednesday. I woke up and felt really tired. So I had a cup of coffee, worked a bit, and then I heard the mail arrive. The movie Lily recommended arrived, so I watched I Love Killing Flies.  About a restaurant owner in NYC, quite a curmudgeon… his philosophy on life, his 5 [...]

Writers used to be private. They wrote books. They had their private dramas and parties and we caught little glimpses between the lines. They didn’t spell it all out for us. They didn’t post their shopping list on the internet. Well, maybe Thoreau. He would have loved blogging. “I spent $2.50 on nails for my [...]

While I hoped this site would sprout wings and fly, it perhaps never had the nourishment it needed to develop healthy bones and ligaments. Or perhaps its bones were far too heavy for it to leave the ground. In any case, here it lies, a wimpering near-carcass. The other two major players have taken their [...]

I wrote up a big post today on cheekyboots calculating my personality pattern to 12 decimal places. It’s brilliant. It’s ironic too. My core life script is: “I am unacceptable, but if I work hard/try hard, I could maybe become acceptable”. So the pressure of working hard, internally, being hyper driven to fix myself, conversely, [...]

Well, it’s a flaming gorgeous hunk of a morning, and I’ve a mind to treat myself really well today, on account of I drove past the graveyard last night, and in the moonlight, in the midnight, I was reminded of all those who went before us, and I wondered how hard they had all worked, [...]